The war is upon us, we have sacrificed a world to save our own and if we lose this battle that sacrifice is in vain. We have returned from the other Cambrya a world without the gods. As we left the portals closed for the last time and that world was destroyed. We let that world be destroyed to kill the drow army there that would have stole their weapons, guns and brought them back to our world. I feel dirty and evil like a drow after letting a world be destroyed to benefit my own.
My father taught me that no matter what fight try to save people never give up and when the going got tough I didn’t even fight. We gave in to the excuses of not having enough time, not being able to think of a solution, not being able to do anything and turned away letting the other Cambrya die. We could have stopped it but then we would have had another war to fight, a war with a the very least twice as many drow armed with guns to fight. Could we win, maybe but the cost would be immense.
Now I have to find a way to live with the miserable person I have become. I have killed more people by doing nothing than all the drow on our world put together. I feel more like a drow in one day than with all the influence of my life put together.
But as it stands right now none of this matters, I have a war to finish. Right now I need to focus on the task at hand and kill every drow that comes before me. Right now I have men to lead and a fight to win. Right now I have focus. After this I can think about the past. After this I can figure out what to do with the person I have become. I have tried so hard to be a good person and I keep screwing it up. I hope I can find a purpose after this war.
But now, now I have drow to kill, let them come so I have something to focus on.